Wednesday, October 07, 2009

why I feel so lucky

bry and I bought this sweet little house in 2006 and from the moment I was in it, I wanted a baby.


there was an adjoining room off the master bedroom with french doors and I imagined our nursery being there. it was perfect


after many, many months of trying my mind was growing tired, wondering why we weren't able to get pregnant. then finally, we were able to move to indiana. I had a friend tell me, "I think you've been waiting until you get back to your family to start yours." I hoped it was true.
then we moved into our lovely home here and I immediately made my niece a room and only dreamt of it being a baby room.


after a few months of getting settled we began seeing a doctor. all of whom gave us little hope in getting pregnant. on our own we could achieve at a 5% rate a month. with medicine it would be around 26-38%. this was less than hopeful for me. I was becoming very lonely inside and felt I could only talk about it so much.
after a few months of trying fertility, we took a short break and then felt our next step should be adoption. we didn't tell many, some of whom said we hadn't exhausted all of our options to have our "own children" because we hadn't tried IVF. I, at the time, was not ready for IVF. not at all.
we had our first home visit and it went great. we were both very excited. we had to talk about what gender, what race and what circumstances we would accept from the mother. this was very hard. we decided to take a step back and just think.
then I felt more ready for IVF. I made 3 appointments and canceled all of them. something in me wasn't ready for it. I wasn't ready for the heartache of it not working (40% chance) and for all of the money we'd have to spend.
on the same day I found out I was pregnant, bry and I took a really long walk with our dogs. I expressed my concerns and how I did not want to acquire debt trying to have a baby. whether it being through adoption or on our own. we decided to save all the money and then try. I felt at peace with it. really.

then later that night, on a whim, I decided to take a pregnancy test. I don't even know why to this day. and it was a big, FAT positive.

and that's why I feel very lucky.

13 comments:

Aura said...

What a lovely story ;) I'm so very happy for you.

alice232 said...

What a beautiful story! Yes, you are indeed very lucky.

Rachel said...

What a sweet story, with a wonderful ending--thank you for sharing it! You will make a fabulous mama!

the rodriguez crew said...

such a great story, and what hope this will give to people just like you! man, this kid is going to be so decked in tiny sprouts, so lucky!!

Francis and Jennifer said...

WOW! That is pretty amazing. Funny how things all come together at the right moment. So happy for you!

kaylin rose and mara anne said...

love your story...you are so lucky and i am so happy for you guys.

it makes my heart happy!

Amy J said...

As someone else commented, it makes my heart happy too, to hear your story. Each time I visit your blog I will pray for you and your baby...that God will bless you and keep you both safe. :)

Derice Seid said...

You are truly blessed. God had a plan for you and your little one all along. He just took a little time to unveil it. It was meant to be.

Jenna said...

I'm tearing up. Can't help it. So happy for you guys.

wanda said...

God is good!

psalm46ten said...

I'm so happy for you. Brought tears to my eyes to read this post. Babies are a beautiful blessing. Hope your pregnancy goes well.

Molly W. said...

awesome/amazing story. Neat to see how God works.

Sparkling Ruby said...

hey lethig! this is susan malatesta!! congratulations! i love looking at your blog and seeing what is going on in your life. much love to you!